Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
