All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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