i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
