JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
