Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
