I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
