if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so that wasnt chicken after all
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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