She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
