could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
