I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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