If i come over, it means nothing
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
