Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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