If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
