That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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