sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Of course I have a pirate flag
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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