you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
