I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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