did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
