He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
do herpes really smell.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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