bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
