How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
