their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
