You're my little dorito
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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