i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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