Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
