Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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