I think scott just propositioned me for sex
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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