I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
