Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
