Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So much rum. So many feels.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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