im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Floor bacon is actually really good
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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