no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
