What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
