ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
