I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
