In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
