i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
