Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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