maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
