tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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