dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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