The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
