I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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