I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
