just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
