I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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