I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
