O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
