Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
