if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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