we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
