Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
