i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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