My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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